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How would you like to fund your wedding?
Budget Weddings
How would you like to fund your wedding?
Want a beautiful wedding on a budget? Chat here.
So this just came to me today and I was wondering how everyone else was feeling. If you are paying for the wedding yourselves, would you keep it how it is now, have someone else pay, but also take a l
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Budget Weddings
How would you like to fund your wedding?
Want a beautiful wedding on a budget? Chat here.
So this just came to me today and I was wondering how everyone else was feeling. If you are paying for the wedding yourselves, would you keep it how it is now, have someone else pay, but also take a l
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Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:665
Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:665Discussion:eff4de61-4bb6-4934-b5e0-61a97c2d8acc
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How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 3:38 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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CENTRAL PENNSYLVANIA 5239164671050630
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So this just came to me today and I was wondering how everyone else was feeling. If you are paying for the wedding yourselves, would you keep it how it is now, have someone else pay, but also take a lot of the control you have away, or have someone else pay and you pitch in so you can do things bigger?
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 3:44 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
04-04-2011
WEST COAST FLORIDA 5429375570054237
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I WISH my family or his could help a bit financially and we could have paid to have a sit down dinner catered (basically we COULD now but to hire in waitstaff we can't hire) So we are having a buffet and calling it a day. Otherwise having a nice low budget that we can afford to start our lives off not broke and go on to get into a house and have kids is more important.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 3:48 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
10-23-2009
INDIANA 9011919320027819
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I picked "other" in your poll. I would have keep it as it. My parents paid for my dress and H's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner. We paid for everything else and didn't end up broke.
I don't know why paying for your own wedding has to equal being broke when it's over. We budgeted as we would for any other major expense.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 4:25 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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UPSTATE NEW YORK 5646428728219835
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I agree with the above posters. My parents bought my dress and FI's parents are buying the cake and sweets table.
No need to go broke when you follow a budget.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 4:30 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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UTAH 5925429724528035
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I always have prefered to pay everything (wedding, house, school, etc) myself.
The wedding will not leave us broke either, but it also won't be the world's fanciest wedding. It'll be perfectly "us" though and in a gorgeous location. It'll be quite a budget wedding considering the area.
We're managing to have a new deck installed (more than the wedding itself) and continue to fund retirement accounts. I do realize not everyone can do this, and I am grateful that we can. However, we aren't going on a big honeymoon - maybe just a road trip to Glacier that involves camping (something we'd do anyway). All within the budget.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 4:53 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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I mean, my relatives and FI relatives are footing the bill for most of our wedding, but we aren't "losing control". They are paying for it, yes, but always asking us for exactly what we want/letting us pick everything out. My parents paid for the reception dinner but I chose the venue. My grandmother is covering the dress, but I picked it out. FI's parents are covering the flowers and photographer, but then again, I chose them also. FI's aunt and uncle are gifting us our honeymoon, but we chose the location/details.
I guess I don't understand why you would lose control? Would your mother offer to cover your photographer, for example, and pick it out without consulting you? Or flowers without you getting to go to the consultation? That hasn't happened to me. Maybe some people's relatives are jerks lol?
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September 2012 Siggy Challenge: Honeymoon in Bavaria!
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 5:00 PM EST
on theknot.com
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In Response to Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?:
I mean, my relatives and FI relatives are footing the bill for most of our wedding, but we aren't "losing control". They are paying for it, yes, but always asking us for exactly what we want/letting us pick everything out. My parents paid for the reception dinner but I chose the venue. My grandmother is covering the dress, but I picked it out. FI's parents are covering the flowers and photographer, but then again, I chose them also. FI's aunt and uncle are gifting us our honeymoon, but we chose the location/details. I guess I don't understand why you would lose control? Would your mother offer to cover your photographer, for example, and pick it out without consulting you? Or flowers without you getting to go to the consultation? That hasn't happened to me. Maybe some people's relatives are jerks lol?
Posted by smartlypretty
I'm was just throwing that out there. If my mom were helping us financially, I'd still have basic control, but if FMIL were helping us, there would be a ton of strings attached. We are paying for everything ourselves other than my aunt is making our cake and giving it to us as a wedding gift. I wish my parents could help and I know they wish they could. And I guess as far as broke goes, we won't be any more broke than we normally are.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 5:14 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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UTAH 5925429724528035
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There have been posts on here about how some brides really did not have much say about their wedding (hence a venting/upset post) and someone was paying for it all. Most people said, "Pay for it yourself, problem solved." So yes I can see in some cases where you may loose control if someone else is footing the bill. Not all families though!
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 5:35 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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PHILADELPHIA 4318574751699861
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Oh okay, I guess I am just one of the lucky ones then that kept 100% artistic control even though I didn't have financial control. We would NOT have been able to afford this wedding/honeymoon without the help of relatives. If it had gone badly, we couldn't "just pay for it ourselves". This wedding is costing around $35,000 with the entire wedding, rings, and honeymoon included. FI and I are paying about $5,000. We live in an expensive area- Philadelphia. It's a little nicer than a normal wedding, but not luxury by any means. I'm not sure what we'd do if we had zero help. Probably either a backyard type wedding or some kind of elopement.
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September 2012 Siggy Challenge: Honeymoon in Bavaria!
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 7:43 PM EST
on theknot.com
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MONTANA 9694485393440000
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I picked "pay for it ourselves and keep control" just for survey purposes.
FIs parents are giving us over half of what we need and we are paying for the rest. They are not attaching strings to the money and we can use it how we want.
If they would have used it to control us, it would have gone back. I would rather have less of a budget than be told how our wedding has to be. It isn't worth it for me and I don't do well with those games.
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Chad and Fawn
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 7:51 PM EST
on theknot.com
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NEW JERSEY 5938603122516266
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I voted "pay for everything ourselves" but I have a caveat. Unless FI loses his job (he's a non-tenured teacher so there is a possibility he won't get a contract in the fall), we'll be able to pay for the wedding we want AND not go broke. However, my grandma gifted me what's going to amount to about 1/3 of the whole budget (15k is our budget) for Christmas - but the rest of the family got the same exact gift, as it was an insurance settlement that resulted from my grandfather's death two years ago. It was a no-strings gift that I decided to put toward the wedding. The same grandma also paid for all of my wedding attire, minus my shoes & alterations, which I will cover myself. My FI's parents are going to cover the rehearsal dinner as well as pay for wine service during dinner at the reception since they're insisting on it. My mom wants to pay for the brunch the morning after the wedding. However, my mom is not all control freak over the brunch & FI's mom has found a place for the RD, but she welcomed my input.
I don't know why paying for your wedding has to equal going broke in this survey, since many people pay for their entire wedding themselves without going broke. Yeah, we could go broke and spend more money on the wedding, but that's not what we want.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 10:03 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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HUDSON VALLEY 6525218244478716
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We are paying 100% ourselves. FI and I are grown ups with careers. We don't need our parents paying for a party for us. Besides, if my FIL's gave us money, the wedding would be their way, and I KNOW it would be something I strongly disagree with.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/4/2012 11:25 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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I voted "other". My preferred way of paying for the wedding would be with major lottery winnings.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/5/2012 12:20 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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My fiance and I are pulling off a wedding on $8 000 while in university. We aren't going to be completely broke and we only work 4 months a year and sink most of it into tuition and food/rent. You don't have to break the bank to get married.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/5/2012 1:55 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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PHILADELPHIA 4318574751699861
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In Response to Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?:
I voted "other". My preferred way of paying for the wedding would be with major lottery winnings.
Posted by LucyHC
Is there a like button? I've been hoping for a major windfall for years now.
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September 2012 Siggy Challenge: Honeymoon in Bavaria!
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/5/2012 3:48 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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We are lucky that my FIL's are footing most of the bill but more or less staying out of the decision making...if they wree ademite about having to do thing thier way we would tell them that while we are gratefull for thier offer we would have to decline...Ultimiate I see our wedding as being a refection of us...the minute it starts being a reflection of someone else I would rather cut the budget and find ways to do things cheaper but still be true to us.
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www.algenina.blogspot.com
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/5/2012 11:46 AM EST
on theknot.com
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My Fiance and I are paying for 100% of everything, which is fine and we are actually proud of ourselves to do that. His parents are fairly wealthy, my family is on a stricter budget, but FI and I are older (28) and working full-time and we don't need any help financing the wedding. However, in my dream world, I have to admit it seems like it would be really nice if our parents split the cost of the wedding. It's not necessarily what I want but I think that it must be really nice in some cases to plan a wedding that you know your families can afford entirely. We haven't bought our first house yet so everything we budget for in our wedding comes out of our down payment fund.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/5/2012 11:47 AM EST
on theknot.com
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My parents have generously given me $10k for my wedding. If I go above that, I cover the difference.
It is working out well for us. I'm under budget, grateful, and my parents are pretty good about giving me control although they've stepped in a few times-- all is well, however.
I say host what you can afford.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/5/2012 4:15 PM EST
on theknot.com
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FLORIDAS FIRST COAST 9441487562326586
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My parents gave me a certain amount and if I go over I pay for it - they basically cover the big stuff and all the little stuff that makes it YOUR wedding (including my dress) is on me. I basically have control but since my parents are footing the major bill they feel they do have more control about saying someone had to be invited so our guest list is bigger than I would have liked. We have varying opinions on what family should be invited - and things like my mom's cousin's daughter can't go but her 14 year old grand daughter (who I don't know) asked if she could go in her place (bc she wants a trip to florida with grandma) and my mom said yes. We invited over the number we wanted knowing we'd get some no's and it'd even out... but that doesn't work if people think their invite is "transferable." My parents point of view was it wasn't adding - that person already had a "spot." I've tried to explain over and over we all agreed to invite over knowing people would say no... and this is one of those people you said to invite BECAUSE they'll say no anyways... if you invite someone new for every no then you have too many people... the main reason it makes me nervous is the whole if we go over then I have to foot the bill... we had budgeted in this extra $1,000 that we planned to use on something we wanted but it'll probably have to be used to pay for guests.
The groom's parents are paying for flowers and the rehearsal dinner... they have not said a word about who they want invited or their expectations. They have a VERY large family so they've just decided to throw an informal 2nd wedding reception on their farm for us a few months later on a Sunday afternoon so everyone gets the chance to spend time with us and celebrate.
So yes in a dream world I'd love to have complete control and a smaller wedding but you pick your battles and try not to be too ungrateful at the generous gift your parents are giving you.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/5/2012 7:04 PM EST
on theknot.com
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MINNEAPOLIS-ST. PAUL 4949479836559959
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What about the option for paying for everything ourselves, NOT going broke, and still regaining total control. It's all about saving and working with a budget!
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/5/2012 9:42 PM EST
on theknot.com
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I admit we will be broke when it's over. Not like $0 in the bank, more like there won't be much savings left. BUT we aren't going into debt for it either. We're not charging anything, except FI's wedding band, so there won't be any residual costs after the wedding.
That being said, we are paying for every single aspect ourselves. It would be nice if FI's parents would offer some help, but I doubt they will. I know if my parents were still around, they would be so amazing and helpful, so it's a little bittersweet.
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/5/2012 10:04 PM EST
on theknot.com
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We are paying for it 100% of our own money. His parents offered to pay for a photographer as a wedding gift, but even then they are letting us pick whichever one we like as long as it is under $1500
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/6/2012 10:18 AM EST
on theknot.com
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BOSTON 8956550450094687
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My mom offered me a bit of money for the wedding, but as a gift so I still have basically total control. I don't think there's much I could do that would make her try ot pull the 'it's my money too' thing. (Unless I failed to invite someone on her side of the family, which I won't, lol.)
My FI's parents are paying for the rehersal dinner and THEY have total controll of that, but that's okay with me-- planning one party is all I can really handle! Maybe I would feel differently if they decided to go to McDonalds for it or something, but they selected a small, nice place that my FI likes so I'm happy!
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/6/2012 4:20 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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Chicago Suburbs 4794184104475267
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We were planning on paying for it all ourselves, but my mom offered to buy me a dress and FI's parents offered to pay the bar bill. It was a nice surprise and it gives us more wiggle room than we expected so it's a bit of a relief financially. With their contribution we can invite everyone they want us to invite as well, so everyone wins.
This works out perfectly for us, and our families are not the type to insist on any control over the wedding. We try to keep them informed and involved and they have offered advice (my mom's been married 6 times so she's got some experience, lol) but no one gets offended if we don't take it. We're so grateful to have reasonable and generous families!
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/7/2012 10:03 AM EST
on theknot.com
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My mom is paying for our wedding bands as our wedding present, His parents are paying for our honeymoon hotel, everything else is coming out of our pocket. We refuse to start our married life in debt from our wedding, so we sat down and talked about our finances, went through and said "this is what I can save each paycheck for the wedding" and that is our wedding budget. We picked a longer engagement so we can have the wedding we want without going broke
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Re: How would you like to fund your wedding?
posted at 2/7/2012 9:52 PM EST
on theknot.com
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CONNECTICUT 5991407053180521
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I voted for other. The way I wanted the funding to work out is the way it luckily worked out initially-- FI's parents, my parents and us splitting it three ways so that we're each contributing 10K. Then my parents decided they wanted more guests and that they'd be willing to pay for them. The people they're inviting aren't people we necessarily want at our wedding (especially since we cut some of our friends), but it's hard to argue when they're paying, so I see what you're saying about losing control.
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