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Help, I think I want to change everything!
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Help, I think I want to change everything!
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I've always wanted a small and simple country wedding, all I wanted was to marry my love. My fiance wanted to get married in the south somewhere just us with a few family and friends. But I insisted I
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Budget Weddings
Help, I think I want to change everything!
Want a beautiful wedding on a budget? Chat here.
I've always wanted a small and simple country wedding, all I wanted was to marry my love. My fiance wanted to get married in the south somewhere just us with a few family and friends. But I insisted I
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Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:665Discussion:e0d9d0df-cee0-4f7d-b4ea-e1cb06c587ad
Forums  >  Wedding Boards  >  Budget Weddings  >  Help, I think I want to change everything!
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Help, I think I want to change everything!

posted at 2/4/2012 6:44 PM EST on theknot.com
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09-28-2006
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 I've always wanted a small and simple country wedding, all I wanted was to marry my love. My fiance wanted to get married in the south somewhere just us with a few family and friends. But I insisted I wanted my grandma to see us walking down the isle (even tho she doesn't mind).
then the planning began and all the little places in the country didn't suffice. Once we chose the venue, which ended up being at a golf course, suddenly it seems it will be fancier and more expensive than planned.it's still a small wedding though, 50 family and close friends:) it's in 5 months by the way!! (June 23).
When I started to see how much things cost and would add up I started to wonder if we should just keep it simple - private ceremony, honeymoon and a party afterwards. A few weeks ago we discussed the budget and he made me realize how expensive it was becoming. I was upset and said let's just elope, but he reassured me it would be ok, let's continue as planned. But I know he's worried it might cause issues or set us back spending so much. We are paying for everything ourselves (besides something towards my dress from my mom). and even though I'm so excited and get teary imagining the day we say I do, sometimes it feels like it's more for everyone else. And the time and stress planning...
We already have a house together ( a year and a half now) and still have so much to buy/redo.Deposits are made on my dress, venue and photog (who is amazing but very pricey).

What if: we got married on vacay alone...and just had a big bash at our place afterwords with the photog. We love to entertain.
Yes we would lose 2 deposits but does it matter in the long run? we could put our money towards our house and a kick ass honeymoon. What do you think? Is anyone else feeling like me?
I feel like losing deposit on dress and venue is nothing in the long run.
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Re: Help, I think I want to change everything!

posted at 2/4/2012 7:26 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
06-06-2011
UTAH
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Posts: 2058
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Last: 5/17/2012


 Hi there,

Well you can change your mind if you want!  Is it mostly because of the money?  

When he said it was going to be OK, how do you know?  I mean did you two sit down with a spreadsheet or pen and paper and really crunch all the numbers?  Or is it just one person convincing the other without hard numbers?

You are right, in the grand scheme of like a deposit on a dress/venue won't be much.
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Re: Help, I think I want to change everything!

posted at 2/4/2012 7:55 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
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Posts: 11
First: 9/4/2011

Last: 2/5/2012


 It is mostly because of the money. We looked at the numbers together and that's when I said let's just forget it.

I also forgot to mention most of the guests are on my side as he doesn't have many close friends. I can't imagine my day without them but I feel bad for that too. Even though I know he's getting excited about the wedding, if it were up to him we'd just go have a destination wedding.
A close friend of mine did that and I remember feeling sad I didn't see her get married. And they only had a party with family.so I didn't want to do that to my family and best friends.
But at the end of day, now that I look back, It was about them, not me or her other friends. Right?
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Re: Help, I think I want to change everything!

posted at 2/4/2012 8:00 PM EST on theknot.com
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UTAH
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Last: 5/17/2012


 Would it put you into credit card debt? 

Is there not enough for the next 5 months' worth of living/wedding bills?

How much would you save by having just a kick as destination wedding just you two?

I got married with only two friends witnessing.  Not even my family was there.  So I know how it felt for my situations.  This time I do want people to witness it.  I want to celebrate with family and friends (ours is also small). 
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Re: Help, I think I want to change everything!

posted at 2/4/2012 8:06 PM EST on theknot.com
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First: 9/4/2011

Last: 2/5/2012


 This is something I need to calculate and compare, haven't yet as I had my freak out moment a couple hours ago. My fiancé is away for business till tomorrow so I will think, calculate and sleep on it before bringing it up.
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Re: Help, I think I want to change everything!

posted at 2/4/2012 11:19 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
12-18-2011
SOUTH JERSEY
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Last: 4/24/2012


 Anyway to have the simple sweet ceremony with just you two at the venue without loosing your deposit? 

Can you work with the venue on changing some things around to save money?
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Re: Help, I think I want to change everything!

posted at 2/4/2012 11:44 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
09-14-2011
NORTH CAROLINA
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Posts: 108
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Last: 3/21/2012


 I agree with Amanda.

Have your BMs already bought their dresses? If so I would consider reimbursing them if you decide to have a private wedding. My friend decided to elope 2 months before her wedding and I was out $250. I didn't expect her to reimburse me but it would have been a kind gesture : /

If you do decide to have a private ceremony and a big bash after your honeymoon, remember to just have a casual party and not a reception.
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Re: Help, I think I want to change everything!

posted at 2/5/2012 7:48 AM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
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Last: 2/5/2012


 Amanda: It's a good idea I'll look into it thank you :)
Stephie Dee:we are going to get dresses today ..but I will make sure they are reimbursable (at David's Bridal).
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Re: Help, I think I want to change everything!

posted at 2/6/2012 1:05 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
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Last: 5/17/2012


 How ya doing today?  Did you crunch your numbers?  Did the freak out pass?
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Re: Help, I think I want to change everything!

posted at 2/9/2012 10:14 AM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
02-26-2011
DALLAS-FORT WORTH
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First: 2/27/2011

Last: 5/17/2012


 I would consider how you'll feel after the wedding...

Will it bother you looking at your wedding pictures afterward, knowing that your family wasn't there to see you walk the aisle?

My grandmother didn't approve of my mother's marriage, so the two of them eloped...  We also considered eloping since I really don't like situations where all eyes are on me and neither does DH, but at the same time I know our family (even without saying anything) would have been hurt they were left out and I also thought it was important that we were making our vows in front of them.

If the venue is making it expensive, why not just change the venue?  You can have a wedding anywhere, to be honest!  You don't have to serve a full meal if it's at a non-meal time... just cake and punch/lemonade/whatever will do.  Can't afford a DJ?  Use an iPod or have some fun wedding games instead.  If you want a country wedding, go for it!

We had a BBQ reception at a vintage-themed restaurant and it was under $600 for 20 guests...  We could have served at least 10 more with all the food that was leftover.  People loved it.  The thing about inviting guests is that the wedding isn't only about you two anymore... but people should be able to see the two of you in everything you do/plan. :)
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